So much to be grateful for this week! I saw my (school) team, my surgeon, my superintendent (and most of his cabinet) and my radiation oncologist this week! We've been busy! 😀
On Friday 2/14 and Monday 2/17, my school district was on mid-winter break. That means no school for the students but teachers have meetings and learning opportunities. On Monday, my lovely art teacher colleague text me and asked me if I wanted to meet her and my teammates for lunch. Yes, please! Funny thing is, I didn't even end up eating haha I was just so happy to see them all and chat about all of the things. It occurred to me I haven't seen them since August 29 (the last official school day that I worked)! It was just so lovely to see them all. Truly. Firstly the fact that they included me was amazing and secondly that it was like we had never even been apart.
We also had a family of students there. Usually I have tried to avoid my students if I do see them out in the wild just because it can be awkward to answer questions and whatnot. But I stopped to say hello and had a nice chat with the moms. The constant refrain I hear is "we want you back but we also want you to take care of yourself." 💜 I have to admit, I don't know that this kind of care would have been shown to me anywhere else. I haven't even been in my current district that long and I feel way more supported and appreciated there than I ever did anywhere else. It also fuels me to want to get back in there ASAP.
After lunch that day I drove down to GR to see my surgeon. We talked about the upcoming surgery which is a complete axillary lymph node dissection. This is necessary because the tumor in my left breast was so huge (way bigger than we originally thought) that there were no clear margins AND three of the 4 sentinel nodes that they biopsied were positive for cancer cells. So to be absolutely SURE that they got everything, even after chemotherapy, this dissection is necessary.
It's gross so do yourself a favor and DON'T Google it (if you do...you can't say I didn't warn ya!). It doesn't seem like it should be more involved that a double mastectomy but it actually is. Basically they will go in under the armpit on the affected side (in this case, my left side) and take out all of the tissue in that area. It's hard to say how many lymph nodes they will find because each person's body is a little different but it could be anywhere from 10-25. It will create a little bit of a "hollowed out" spot because there is nothing to replace that tissue with. (Sounds awesome, right?) Doc said it can be a little more challenging to recover from as far as pain. Fortunately I think I have a pretty high pain tolerance so hopefully it's fine...but I will also be wearing a compression sleeve forever on the left side to help prevent developing lymphedema.
I did express my desire to hopefully go back to school on March 31. For one, it's a natural transition back to school because it's right after a school break. She said her concern there is that I'm on weight restriction for 4 weeks and that won't have passed by March 31. If I have to wait until April 7, I will, but I'm really hoping for March 31.
My entire school family that I've talked to are all "you need to be well, take care of yourself" and I love them all for that. The good news though is that I got through chemo with flying colors (very little issue except fatigue) so hopefully that remains true with this next surgery too! I am bracing myself for the possibility of April 7 being my return date but that's fine. It might even help coordinate things with the radiation consults better if I wait until then anyway.
On Wednesday I took my daughters to lunch up near school because they have a restaurant with the best fried pickle wraps ever and we saw my superintendent! What are the odds? He was out with the new finance director and the new director of assessment so I got to officially meet them too. It was just funny to me that we would run into them like that randomly on a Wednesday.
Yesterday (Thursday), Jeff and I met with my radiation oncologist. We haven't seen him since the original MST meeting on August 22. I really like him a lot. He's super chill and casual but to the point. He said due to the need for the axillary node dissection, he will have me complete 15 radiation treatments. The only thing that sucks about this is that I have to go to the cancer center to get those done and it's 45 minutes from school. Driving 45 minutes for a 15 minute appointment kinda blows but whatever, it is necessary.
He said that next time I see him, which will be after surgery, we will try to get the scans ordered and whatnot so they can get me all prepped for when the radiation begins. He says "we will put a couple of tattoo dots on you...are you okay with that?" So I held out my arms and showed him my tattoos and said "yep!" [For the record, I have tattoos on both thumbs, both wrists and the inside of my left arm, not to mention on my right ankle and the tops of both feet!]
I did express my concern about working around school if things take a little longer than I'd like but he said they would do their best to have me set to go by March 31 or April 7 at the latest. I so appreciate that because I am more than ready to be back at work. I miss my students!
Interestingly while we were at that appointment, I got a voicemail that my prescription for my compression sleeves were in and I could stop down to the Women's Health Center for a measurement. Since we were already in the building, we decided to just get it done. People complain about their insurance coverages (lack of mostly) but I feel lucky that BCBS is covering two compression sleeves so that I don't have to worry about that. I got a beige one and a black one. I also have some non-compression sleeves that have the breast cancer symbol on them that I can absolutely put on over the compression sleeve if I want for a little more pizzazz. It was quite nice to get that all done while we were already there.
As always, I continue to be grateful for Jeff and the girls for walking with me through this. I see so much negativity from others dealing with cancer and I know everyone's situation is different. I just don't see the point in being a Debbie Downer about it. I can't change it so I might as well go with the flow. And that's what I try to do. Again, some things aren't my favorite and I don't always love what they tell me, but I'm just riding the wave. It's easier than being mad, angry and hurt.
Am I sometimes there? Of course. Do I sometimes feel like I got robbed? Absolutely. But I let myself feel that shit and then I move on. I don't dwell because it won't fix or change anything so why get upset about it and stay upset? It's just not worth it.
A big shout out to my [school] team, my husband, my kids, my extended family and friends who have walked beside me and kept me in their prayers. I love and appreciate you all.
Comments
Post a Comment