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Lymph Node Surgery & Recovery, Plus the Pathology Result

I had my lymph node dissection on Friday, March 7. After the double mastectomy in September, when the pathology report came back, they realized the tumor was much bigger than originally thought and therefore I had no clear margins. My surgeon said she would need to go back in for the lymph node surgery just to be sure. My medical oncologist suggested they do the chemotherapy first to give my body some time to heal and that's how we've traveled this path in the way that we have.  We got to the hospital on Friday at 8:30 am, preparing for a 10:30 am surgery. My surgeon is VERY detailed and meticulous though so the surgery before mine went longer than expected and I don't think they wheeled me in until about 1:30 or so.  Around 11 am or so they did give me the nerve block which I will reiterate is the best thing ever. Firstly they give you the joy juice which knocks me right out and thus I have no idea what they are doing, which is just fine with me! I woke up afterward and wa...
Recent posts

An Ode to Jeff

 I have said many, many times on this cancer journey that Jeff deserves a high five and at least a million dollars. I stand by that. Since 2010, he has been on a mental health journey with me that he did not ask to be on. I cannot even count how many times I have told my therapist that I don't know if I would be strong enough to support someone on a mental health journey the way he has supported me on mine. When I'm really down, I'm not a very nice person to be around. I can totally fake it until I make it at work and professionally, but at home during those times? Yeah. Not pleasant. At all. And there are times I have lashed out at Jeff and put expectations upon him that I know now were completely a) unfair and b) unrealistic. And what does he do? He just keeps pushing forward; he holds my hand (literally and metaphorically) when I need it, helps me get myself back to Rationale Raye and just keeps on keeping on. He's the stability I never had as a child. My parents liv...

Surgery & Radiation - aka Next Steps in my Journey!

So much to be grateful for this week! I saw my (school) team, my surgeon, my superintendent (and most of his cabinet) and my radiation oncologist this week! We've been busy! 😀 On Friday 2/14 and Monday 2/17, my school district was on mid-winter break. That means no school for the students but teachers have meetings and learning opportunities. On Monday, my lovely art teacher colleague text me and asked me if I wanted to meet her and my teammates for lunch. Yes, please! Funny thing is, I didn't even end up eating haha I was just so happy to see them all and chat about all of the things. It occurred to me I haven't seen them since August 29 (the last official school day that I worked)! It was just so lovely to see them all. Truly. Firstly the fact that they included me was amazing and secondly that it was like we had never even been apart.  We also had a family of students there. Usually I have tried to avoid my students if I do see them out in the wild just because it can b...

I'm a Chemo Grad and looking forward

 I have officially graduated from chemotherapy! I am so incredibly grateful for my family, friends, nurses and doctors for helping me get here. What's crazy is that Monday, February 10 marks 6 months since the journey began. Only six months! When you consider what has happened in the last 187 days...it's enough stuff to feel like it has occurred over years rather than months.  I am very fortunate and very grateful that chemotherapy was relatively easy. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't fun and I'd like to never do it again, but it wasn't the scary, terrifying scenario they make it out to be in shows like  Breaking Bad . I was never sitting in a desolate line of chemotherapy chairs surrounded by sad looking bald people (myself included). The treatment pod was often a lively place with people watching TV, chatting with their care person who accompanied them and surprisingly, laughter.  My nurse, Stacy, was a God-send. I had 16 total treatments and she only didn't ...

Cancer Updates & Reflections

Not much new to report with chemo! I continue to tolerate it as well as anyone can expect and that's really good. I've developed some chemo brain fog again which really stinks. I hate feeling like I don't know what's going on in my own mind! It's aggravating as all get out. What's weird is I had the brain fog very early with the AC (red devil) but it disappeared when I went to taxol. Then at the halfway mark (Christmas Eve), I started getting it again. The reprieve was fun while it lasted! It's really my only side effect (well that and the steroids making me want to eat literally everything so I've gained like 20 lbs) so I can't complain too much...but it sucks! When you're someone like me who has always been proud of your ability to think and be clear and now sometimes you can't...it's disorienting and frustrating.  I will literally be in the midst of a conversation and forget what I was talking about. In the middle of a sentence! Thankf...

Taxol 6 & New Beginnings

 Happy New Year! It's hard to believe the calendar has switched over to 2025. Where in the world did 2024 go? I feel like I blinked and it was gone but simultaneously the last few months of 2024 felt like years. I, for one, am always grateful to turn the calendar on a new year. I'm not a huge fan of the New Year, New Me business because it seems insincere and too "fad-ish" for me. Alas, I do enjoy the prospect of a new story to unfold over 365 days and making the most of every single day. On New Year's Eve, I had my 6th taxol treatment. That means we are officially on the downswing! There are six treatments left in this part of my journey. I'm nearly there. Something that felt insurmountable at one moment is now just a blip on the radar of my life. At least that is how I am choosing to look at it. That morning, knowing my daughter Emily didn't have to work remotely that day, I came up to my office/craft area to get something to work on while at the cancer ...

Taxol 4 & 5 and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

 Things have been quite boring around here and that is not a bad thing! I've completed two more treatments with no issues.  On December 17, taxol treatment 4, we kept the Benadryl at the 25 mg dose because I brought my Mirapex with me to see if it would help with my restless legs. That dosage of Benadryl knocks me right out, but also makes my restless legs very unhappy so we thought we'd try them together.  I was down for the count for the whole rest of the afternoon after that. Jeff brought me home from treatment and I ate lunch and then fell asleep again on the couch and didn't wake up until after he had left for work. He is very good at not waking me up when I am sleeping since it's a big commodity for me lately (either I just randomly wake up and can't go back to sleep or Penny the noisiest Boston Terrier in history snores so loud it keeps me up and I can't get back to sleep) so I knew it was a big deal that I had slept past the time he had to leave for work...