The Dumpster Fire - Kicking Cancer's Butt

 I've been kind of quiet on the blog because blissfully, unless I'm at chemo, there is very little else happening. This isn't a bad thing. August and September were so busy with all of the appointments, the diagnosis, the planning, etc etc that having October be less busy has been very welcome. There are a few things to update on so I'm going to put topics in and you can read what you desire to read and skip what you don't want to read about. Genetics Testing The day of my last blog I had my genetics consult. This is required by my healthcare system before the bloodwork can be processed because it is the genetics consultant who puts in the order for the blood work. Basically if I test positive for the BRCA genes it means my girls will all need to do preventative testing and my brother will need to test so he knows if his kids need to test. There is only a 5-10% chance of it being genetic so I'm crossing my fingers that I'm just an anomaly who got breast canc...

You know those annoying people who always tell you to just keep a positive attitude and everything will be okay? I might be one of those people. (Sorry, not sorry.) On Tuesday, I had my second chemotherapy appointment. I had blood work done, a urinalysis and got to see the oncologist before the infusion began. Blood work is looking excellent (white blood cell counts were actually ABOVE normal which is weird but very good) and the urinalysis was just to rule out a UTI since I was having some issues with frequency and urgency last week. All is good on those fronts. The oncologist was super happy with how things have gone so far. I haven't had any negative side effects except fatigue. Thank goodness I haven't dealt with nausea or anything like that. As she was examining me, we were just chatting and she says "I'm certain your positive attitude is playing a role in this."  I just smiled and said "well I cannot control what my body is doing at the moment but I can...

 I feel like I'm in that weird limbo space right now. Our lives have been such a flurry of activity since mid-August when I got my diagnosis that having multiple days in a row without appointments and things to do suddenly feels so weird. Plus, let's just be real...I haven't had down time like this in over 20 years. When Jeff and I got married, I went right back to school to get my teaching degree. I took the summer off after earning my provisional license and went right back for a master's. After the master's came National Board and after that came the doctorate. Once all of that was done, there was earning my administrative license and working on maintenance of certification for National Board.  Alongside all of the above, I was teaching full time and raising my kids, one of whom was diagnosed with dyslexia and autism in elementary school which led to needing to advocate for her needs with a school staff that just didn't get it.  Long story short - I'm not...

Today was my first chemotherapy infusion. I saw my therapist (virtually) yesterday and as we were wrapping up, she said “how is your anxiety about tomorrow?” My honest answer was that I didn’t have any. Which is yet another point in the column for why changing my medication to Lexapro in June was wise. Who knows how I’d be handling this barrage of appointments, news and whatnot on Celexa? Side note in case you don’t know me personally or didn’t hear about this when it happened. I was on Celexa on and off for 14 years to help control my anxiety and depression. We upped it during the school year last year because I was really feeling stressed. Well the crap hit the fan on May 31 when that medication made me go down a suicidal spiral I have never experienced before. I scared the shit out of my kids and husband and spent a night in the hospital in the Empath unit where they could keep an eye on me and make sure I wasn’t actually suicidal. The doctor on call changed my medication that very ...